Pregnancy Journal- Journaling to your future child

I've decided that I am going to be keeping a pregnancy journal for baby number two. I think it would be a precious momento for this baby to keep throughout his or her life and an amazing gift to give him or her some day. I will be able to keep track of what I am feeling and going though throughout the pregnancy and share with my child the thoughts I have and the dreams I have about him or her. I would have loved it if my Mom did this for me when she was pregnant! How cool would it be to hear about what your mom was going through when she was pregnant with you. The journal will also be spiritual as well, and hopefully it plays a part in this child's spiritual formation as well when that time comes. I wanted to share the first one with you:

May 13 2010

8 weeks and 5 days pregnant with my precious baby # 2.

I will write this journal as if I'm speaking to my little one because I think it's really cool that one day he or she will read this and be able to know what was on Mommy's heart and mind at the time. So here it goes!

My dear little one,

I am thrilled that you are growing strong inside of me. I have not seen you yet--the only proof that your growing inside is from the pregnancy test, my pudgy belly, and the pregnancy sickness I've been feeling. I already feel connected to you though, and you consume a lot of my thoughts already! I feel different with you than with Tommy, and this is to be expected as you are two completely different people. I feel pretty sick lately and need to keep eating or I will feel really icky. I'm VERY tired too! I need to nap often! I also snack on pretzels a lot whenever I start to feel sick.

I am 8 weeks and 5 days today and I look forward to my first OB appointment next wednesday! I will see your sweet little heart beating and find out how you are growing! Right now you are about the size of a little raspberry and you are just getting fingers and toes to form on your tiny hands and feet! It's amazing to meditate on the fact that you are being created and knit together by the Lord in my womb! (Psalm 139) He is perfectly fashioning you and I am thrilled to be your mother and add you to our family! I can PROMISE you that you are wanted and loved profoundly already at 8 weeks of existence, invisible to this world. Although I cannot feel you move inside me yet, I know you're there and I love you just the same! Never forget that you never need to do anything in life to MAKE someone love you. You are loved simply because you exist. You're my baby, you're a child of God and this is why you deserve all love. Any love that comes because you ask for it is not true love. Love in it's true form is freely given and is given simply JUST BECAUSE. Just as the Lord loves us as we are I love you just because you are! I may fail many times in your life to show you this, but please always remember that I love you and your brother (Tommy) very much. I was the first to love you along with the Lord and your Daddy.

This 8th week has been very tough for me so far. I feel very sick, tired, and not my happy self. This is NOT your fault though because this is what I am supposed to offer for you. It will make me a better Mommy for you in the end. Whenever we feel uncomfortable in life it is not for no reason. Always remember that suffering has a great purpose if we unite it to the Lord's. I hope that you do not have much to suffer in your life, but it is inevitable that it will eventually happen in this world we live in. Be strong, and remain close to the Lord. This is your true strength. Your identity is in the Lord. I know this for a FACT because he is forming you right now as I write this letter to you! I am not forming you, I couldn't if I tried! I am just sitting here allowing the Lord to work in me a great miracle--that is YOU! In the meantime, you are being perfected and this is where your identity comes from and remains forever. You first belong to God and because of his great love and grace, he placed you in my and Daddy's care!

I have this feeling that you will be a daughter. Now of course I could be wrong! But for some reason I just feel like you are. I felt as though Tommy was a boy very strongly, and he was! So I am going with my gut feeling again! I cant wait to find our in August so that I can write to you specific to your sexuality as male or female! It was great writing to you. I love you very much and can't wait to meet you in December. You get to be born in the same month we celebrate Christmas! I'm sure this is no coincidence and I hope this time of year brings you a special kind of joy. My name, Natalie, means "born at Christmas time" Of course I was not born at Christmas, but I think it's beautiful that you will be! Grow strong my little one! I love you and will see you soon!

Love,

Mommy